Siriusly Awful Chat Up Lines
by Morghen
Summary: Different chat-up lines with various characters. On hold.
1. One Wizard, Two Witches

_"A difference of tastes in jokes is a great strain on the affections." _

_-George Eliot

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"Padfoot? What's wrong?" asked James Potter as he watched a somber Sirius sulk into the Gryffindor common room with Peter following close behind.

Sirius walked over towards James and sat down on the couch beside him, huffing loudly. He crossed his arms over his chest and muttered something unintelligible.

"What?" questioned James.

Padfoot just sighed and shook his head.

Shrugging his shoulders, Prongs turned to Peter and asked, "What's his issue?"

A grin spread across the small boy's face but it quickly disappeared when Sirius looked over at him. "Padfoot just got turned down by two girls at the same time," he squeaked, trying to keep his amusement out of his voice.

"That's not even the worse part," grumbled Sirius. "They both slapped me really hard." He brought a hand to his face and tenderly pressed it against his cheek.

Sure enough, upon further inspection, Potter saw that his best friend was sporting two very red cheeks. He started to chuckled but hastily turned it into coughing when the upset boy shot him a death look. "Well, what did you do to them?"

"Nothing!" said Sirius, annoyed. "I was just talking to Camryn Abbott and Maeve Dobbs and they slapped me out of the blue!"

James raised his eyebrows and looked at Padfoot skeptically.

"Okay, okay. I might have possibly been hitting on them… It really matters on how you interpret what I said…"

"Urghh," groaned Potter, shaking his head. "Which awful chat-up line did you use this time?"

Sirius shot him an innocent look and shrugged his shoulders. "I wouldn't really call it a chat-up line… I mean, they were talking about how they wished that Hogwarts would bring back the Tri-Wizard Tournament. All I said was, '_Want to be in a Tri-Wizard Tournament? Well, not really 'Tri-Wizard.' I was thinking more like one wizard and two witches' …"_

"Sirius, are you serious?"

"Obviously," he replied with a wide grin.

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**This was done for TheRealRavenclaw's Chat-up Line Challenge in HPFC.**

**This was also done for mew's challenge in HPFC.**

**Thank you mew for betaing! Poor Sirius, I think that he could use some huggling after being turned down like that!**

**:D  
**


	2. Chaser and Quaffle

He was so over that crazy Granger girl. After she just left him without warning at Slughorn's Christmas Party he decided that she was not worth it. She wasn't that pretty anyway -he had only gone to the party with her because he pitied her. He had only been trying to boost her self-image which would have happened if she would've been seen being with him.

He was just a giving guy -unselfish, nowhere near arrogant.

Yet Hermione had made it quite clear to him that she would rather be with some loser redhead than with him. Whatever. It was her loss. He, one could say, was quite the ladies' man. All of the girls just fawned over him. He found it pretty difficult to deal with at times but he wasn't complaining.

Silly girls. Didn't they see that he wanted a chase? Why the hell would he want some girl who just flung herself at him when the chase was most of the fun? He loved to be like a foxhound in pursuit of his prey.

His prey changed almost weekly because he always got bored, of course. No, these girls were never the ones to break it off with him. Who could really blame them, though? He was Cormac McLaggen, after all.

This week it was a girl who was about two years younger than him -fresh meat. Ginny Weasley -who was so much more good looking than that bushy-haired girl. He was about to make his move right now as she was leaving her History of Magic classroom. Cormac was not worried about being turned down -just look at him. How could any girl in her right mind refuse such a gorgeous guy like himself.

"Ginny," he called as he leaned, carelessly, against the wall, giving her the one-over.

She turned around and raised her eyebrows at the site of him. Oh, yeah -she liked what she saw.

He ran a hand through his wiry brown hair and said in his best purr, "_If I were a Chaser, and you were a Quaffle -I'd so score with you._"

Let's just say that poor Cormac's nose was never the same after a well-aimed Bat-Bogey Hex that Ginny was known for.

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**This is another one done for 'Chat-Up Line Challenge.'**

**Just so you all know, I DO NOT think that Cormac is all perfect. The descriptions were how he saw himself.**

**Thanks mew for being a siriusly spectacular beta!  
**


	3. Gift of One Liners

"_I've got the gift of one-liners_

_And you've got the curse of curves"_

_-Cute is What We Aim For "Curse of Curves"

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_

Why was she even here? She utterly despised Quidditch.

It had been her parent's brilliant plan to have some family bonding time. According to them, she didn't spend enough quality time with them and so they forcefully brought her there. The Quidditch Word Cup: Bulgaria Versus Ireland. Whoop-dee-do. Daphne's parents didn't even consider the fact that she hated this damn sport. They probably didn't even know; it was no secret that they knew nothing about their eldest daughter.

She had made up some lame excuse - the kind that worked every time - about wanting to go for a walk; she really just didn't want to be near them. They replied with their usual words: "Yeah, sure, Daphne. Here's some money if you end up needing it." No questions where she was going or who she was hanging out with because they didn't really care. Luckily for them, she was an overall good kid.

As she walked around the various tents, she recognized a few of her friends, ermmm, more like classmates. Daphne only had one real friend and that was Sabine Coty, a fellow Slytherin. Sabine was vacationing in Provence and could not make it to this fabulous event. Lucky girl.

She approached a sales booth that had a large display of multicolored fireworks. She gazed at them, considering purchasing a few to give her and her sister something to do.

"_Y'know, when I said 'Accio hottie' I didn't expect it to work,"_ said a playful voice that she did not recognize behind her.

Daphne's hand flew for her wand in her pocket but then she remembered that she had left it in her tent. Ehh, so much for cursing the face off the fresh bastard. She took a deep breath in to regain her composure as she turned to see who she was about to tell off. This was one way to take her frustration of being here out and now she had a good reason.

Oh.

Daphne blinked her midnight blue eyes twice to make sure she wasn't hallucinating. Nope, he was still standing in front of her. A Gryffindor hitting on a Slytherin and a Weasley no less. But Merlin, that smile and those, those eyes…

"Cat gotcha tongue?" the redhead teased because of her lack of words.

She felt her cheeks get a little warm as his brilliant blue eyes gave her the one up and then he smiled. Once she was able to clear her recently clouded mind, she smirked and said, "That was cheesy."

"Aww, you didn't like it?" he asked, cocking his head to one side and giving her a look of mock disappointment. "Hmm, how about '_Do you have a Remembrall 'cause I think I just forgot how to breathe?' "_

A slight smile played on her lips and her previous smirk was no where to be seen. "Cute."

"Ya think so?" he asked, grinning widely. "So, what's your name?" he added as he ran his fingers through his fire-red hair.

"Daphne," she replied shortly, trying to look bored but she was far from it.

"I'm Fred," he told her, offering his hand which she accepted and shook. "So, Daphne," if it was possible, his smile grew wider when he spoke her name, "do you want some company?"

She twisted a string of her lengthy hazel hair between her fingers as she considered his offer. "No," she decided with a sigh, "I better get back to my family." She move to walk around him but he stepped back in front of her.

"Well, will I get to see you again?" Fred questioned hopefully.

Daphne shrugged her slight shoulders and answered, "Possibly."

"What if I promise to come up with some better pick-up lines?" he offered, smiling.

She pursued her lips and thought about it, enjoying to watch him wait for her answer. "Maybe," she replied after a few seconds and then started to make her way back to her tent. Maybe her parents' idea wasn't going to turn out _too _badly…

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**The song lyrics above belong to the band Cute is What We Aim For. Hehe, it is not my favorite band/song but it was the first thing that came to my mind when I wrote this.**

**Fred/Daphne is my originial pairing and I would really appreciate it if you gave me a mention if you decide to use them. Check out my C2 for more Mew && Mor's Weird Pairings.**

**Thanks mew for being a wicked awesome beta! I think you'll like the next chapter!  
**


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